Took me ten years. 

Starting, quitting, starting again. 

Learning to face my fear. 

Learning to persevere. 

 

Drawing daily. 

It’s finally a habit for me. 

 

When I first sat on the couch of my home with toddler by my side, and read that to paint beautifully, I should develop the habit of drawing daily, it was like the shot of a gun at the beginning of a cross-country race. I was off. I didn’t get to walk the course before – never dreamed how long it would be, that time and again I’d slip on the muddy banks, stare at my art not wanting to pull myself up, not having the strength to try again.

I never imagined I would be developing more than just drawing, I’d be facing a lie that said I was not enough.

For ten years I’ve fought this fight, at times believing I’d given up completely, but at the close of 2018 I could finally say, “I’ve drawn nearly every day.” For one year I faced my fear and declared, “I will become all I’m meant to be, no matter what others say about me.” 

What made the difference? Ironically, it was what people said about me. The very thing I feared fuelled me. Not condemnation but affirmation, your comments and encouragements lifted me up. They told me something I was desperate to hear. 

It’s the true me you want to see.